Jared, firstborn son of my parents and favorite older brother of mine, is getting married!!!!! in a few days, to a wonderful young woman soon to be known as Jenny Shore. I am going home tomorrow to celebrate with family and friends.
I feel a deep sense of happiness for my brother, a sincere love for the woman he will marry, and a strong hope for their future.
Now for some slight pessimism, glimpses of hope, and attempt at contenment.
Why I decided to enroll myself in four literature courses, I have no idea.
Granted, I am a student of English and Spanish. I have willingly dedicated myself to these particular areas of study for a few not particularly light reasons, but those I will share later.
For now, let me say, I drink too much coffee out of physical necessity rather than for enjoyment. My body generally aches from too much caffeine and not enough movement, sore from sitting in the same manner for hours on end as I dissect text after text for various types of literature.
Here is an example of my average to do list:
Old Testament: Psalm 89:1; 104
Society in Literature: finish the Maltese Falcon
British Literature: finish Beowulf; Marie de France’s “Lanval” and “Chevrefoil”; first
two parts of “Gawain and the Green Knight”
Spanish Literature: “Milagros de Nuestra Señora” and “El Conde Lucanor”
African American Lit: Read The Known World
And that’s just for Monday and Tuesday. I don’t know what I was thinking.
In the midst of hundreds of pages of artistic language and social satire, historical accounts and rhyming rhythms, my God is providing me with a beautiful atmosphere. The most comforting part of this experience has been the continuous confident knowledge that God is orchestrating my life, and clear evidence of this. He has been bringing to the surface the realization that the experiences I have had lately have prepared me for this moment in which I am living, for the people with whom I am living, and that this now is a preparation for future moments and people and places. People, places, moments are all so inconsistent. The Holy Spirit is with me. No variation.
Oh, sweet freedom!
Somehow that peace that I found a few months ago is still with me, even when I have to search deep inside myself to remember it is.
I am finding myself missing Costa Rica and the people I came to love there more and more everyday. I am sometimes happy for the amount of work I have to do simply because I know it keeps me from being in a constant state of mourning over moments passed and people out of my reach. The boyfriend of my roommate from last year played soccer at Northwestern this past weekend and Laura and I went to the game to watch. We had only met him once, but even he seems like a part of the family we became a part of down there. We hugged him tightly, trying to feel even a shimmer of the essence of our former roommate whom we love so much. I never could have imagined the intensity of the bonds we formed in Costa Rica. I know I have family all over the world, a fact I will never take for granted.
Oh, and my best friend Josh is in France, which is wonderful but sometimes my whole being selfishly wishes he were here.
There are so many thoughts I wish to share, so many people I wish to write about, but time is short and functioning brain cells are scarce. Another time.
Until then, I pray to continue to experience glimpses of peace and tranquility, love and laughter, hope and rest. For you and for me.
Yours,
Micaela
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