I just experienced the best summer of my life.
Woah, woah woah. What? Micaela, you just lived in a beautiful Latin American country for a year. No way was the summer that followed endless weekend beach trips, swimming under waterfalls, and speaking Spanish daily the best one of your life.
Yes, actually, it was.
You see, I expected to spend these last few months in a consistent state of sadness and mourning. I expected to be bored with my life, uninterested in the people around me, and constantly desiring to return to the land of la Pura Vida.
I expected too little. I temporarily underestimated the workings of the powerful lion of a God who loves me and—lo and behold!—does not wish for me to exist in a state of emotional suffering.
A series of spur-of-the-moment decisions and not very much prayer (okay, no prayer on my part was involved whatsoever), I found myself two weeks out of CR, a member of the ministry team of Access (Grace’s college community), co-leading a small group focusing on and discussing a book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster, and working an internship at a non-profit legal clinic in Indianapolis.
It is very unlikely that I would be able to briefly describe to you what I experienced with the various activities of the summer. But I do want to make a few points known and a few people recognized.
According to dictionary.com (I know, very academic source, right?), the verb “learn” has the following definitions:
1. to acquire knowledge of or skill in by study, instruction, or experience.
2. to become informed of or acquainted with.
3. to memorize.
4. to gain by experience or exposure to example.
5. to instruct in; teach.
If these explanations of learning are true, I did nothing but learn this summer. I was instructed. I taught. I even memorized. I acquired knowledge. Not simply textbook knowledge, but real world, difficult to deal with, hard to explain knowledge. Truth.
I acquired and was informed of distinct truths that are crucial to my spirit’s livelihood. Truth about Jesus and who he was and is, about what exactly happened when he died and why and how that affects me and my relationship with sin and guilt. Truth about the Holy Spirit, this distinct entity of God that is married to my own spirit and listens to me and fills me up and is powerful. The Breath of the Creator. A still small voice that we must quiet ourselves to hear.
At the clinic, I was informed of aspects of immigration that I was previously unaware of. As a Spanish translator there, I was shown a glimpse of the legal world of immigration (legal and illegal) and was overwhelmed with the complexity of the system of immigration that has been created. Some understandably complex…some not. My heart was overwhelmed and softened by the stories of searching for hope in a new land, only to be poorly treated, abused, neglected, or taken advantage of. And I am grateful for gaining a friend in my supervisor, Dre, with whom I had many soulful conversations and laughs.
I learned what it feels like to have freedom in Christ. Growing up in the church, that phrase, “freedom in Christ,” was lost to me. I knew not what it meant for me or for anyone. Now I know. Christ’s death, his transformation into our own sin, liberates us from the guilt and shame that should come with disobedience to His law. This is the difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament! We no longer have to fear God’s punishment, nor do we have to DO anything to “make things right” with Him. When Jesus said “It is finished,” he may have just been talking about his self-sacrifice, his life, his purpose. But with that…Guilt is finished. Shame is finished. Fear is finished. Trying to abide by hundreds of rules, although they were good to follow, is finished. And thus begins the acceptance of an impossible love that we were first given and now we return.
It takes nothing. It takes everything.
I learned that sometimes God puts people in our lives for a season when we most need them. I had very specific people in my life this summer that greatly affected me and supported and helped me. Without going into specifics, without naming names (there are quiet a few), it is an amazing thing to make the connection between the people in your life and their purpose for being there, that the Father brings people together as gifts for each other.
Speaking of which, I do want to mention a few specific people who had an immeasurable impact on my life this summer.
Bekah Sardar. The orchestration that took place in order for Bekah and I to even meet is incredible. God’s perfect timing is revealed in our friendship when I told David Bell that I wanted to lead the group she was leading. Over the past few years, we have had countless opportunities and mutual friends to bring us together, but our loving Father knew the appropriate time. She was and is a beautiful gift and it is incomprehensible the level of comprehension that we share. I cherish her.
Nick Wehner. One of the most honest men that I know. He also lead with me and Bekah, stood solidly as the only man in our group, taught us what faithfulness and devotion, even through the Valley of Shadows, really mean in relationship with Christ, and allowed himself to be taught by us as well. I am grateful for him.
David Bell. Fearless leader of Access and dear friend. Lifted from me a spiritual burden so heavy that I was eating dirt. I am liberated in Christ because of his leadership and authority in my life.
Christine Twedt. I met with Christine and a couple of other girls every other week this summer to debrief our small groups and other things going on in our lives. She is a very wise woman and gave me some priceless advice that I will always keep with me. And I will never be the same again after soaking my feet in a foot bubbler and watching a Colts game in her company J
In conclusion…
I have only scratched the surface. So much. So much in me changed. I am learning. I am Christ’s apprentice. The Lord has searched me and He knows me, and He is—in His perfect timing—revealing myself, and Himself, to me. I am liberated.
And so, I leave you with what I memorized.
“No power on heaven or on earth can separate you from the love of God. God’s love is unshakable and can always be relied upon.” Romans 8:38-39
Sweet freedom.
Yours,
Micaela
